I wrote an Instagram post about care work and asked my community of women in a pool: "How do you think care work could or should be rewarded? Should it be rewarded financially? Should it be rewarded with care? Should it be rewarded differently? Or not at all? Usually care work is characterised as something that comes from the heart and soul, women have an 'inner calling to care', “feel obliged” to support their family members, elders or children. As a result, care work is often seen as a gift, when in fact it costs energy, time and money.

The profession of architecture has been built around many constraints on how to be. We have celebrated linear ways of being, often celebrating the end product, the design and execution of spaces rather than processes of spatial creation and community. We have been complicit in not questioning these linear ways of being. It all 'worked' until you had to do care work.

As my eldest daughter's 7th birthday approaches, I am also thinking about how (not) to work in architecture after becoming a mother, something that has also been with me for the past 7 years. Preparing for a job search and interview after becoming a mother is not an easy task. The terrain seems uncertain, you have to come to terms with one of the biggest transformations in a woman's life, you aren’t sure what to expect.

When I started looking for a job, I thought nothing had changed. I can still do it, push myself, work long hours, I will be able to do it all. I will be at home and at work and it will all work out magically. I didn't know that working full-time and being a mother was the hardest job in the world. Sure, there are nurseries and schools and babysitters, but there is a price to pay for the time we spend at work away from our children and the time we spend with our children away from work.